Saturday, May 26, 2007

Bliss Tan -canned

It was perhaps the most heinous thing that could ever happen to a girl in the United States. Like a mutant form of zebra, I was a tanimal gone wrong. It all started when I decided to give the Bliss Tan can another chance. Maybe I made a mistake when I carefully followed the directions on the cheerful blue box. So I decided to take my own approach to aerosol bronzing. I am sure I am not letting loose any previously bagged cats when I reveal to you that my second stint with the Bliss did not go well. And said Bliss is now in my bathroom garbage. (But I continue to use and love the exfoliant scrub!) OK, what follows is not pretty. It is, I suppose, a sort of mea cosmeticulpa. That involves a sock. See, I had come to the logical-seeming conclusion that the reason I had spray marks and stripes was because I did not blend enough. And the reason I had tan-stains on my nailbeds was because I blended with my hands. So I attempted to remedy both issues with a single item - a clean white sock. The plan was to spritz in short bursts then quickly blend, blend, blend. It worked OK -- except when it didn't. In fact, the results were pretty similar to the first time -- face, neck and decolletage turned a pretty, odorless brown. But the back, legs and ass could only be described as, well, dire. My husband hasd a nice laugh at my striped ass. But otherwise, its trashcan city, baby. Last night I slathered my body with Neutrogena graudal tan. It stunk to high heaven and I had to pay for the bottle myself (grumbe grumbe) but it works like a charm. I am not tan, but neither do I glow in the dark. Mission accomplished.

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